Got dad jokes? Well, you do now.

Table of Contents
This extensive collection of corny gags and cringy puns is your one-stop shop for all the funniest jokes in the market.
For example, how do you organize a space party? You are definitely the planet.
Or, have you heard of two robots that got into an argument? Obviously, it was a war treaty.
What about school kidnappings? Good news, they woke him up.
What do you want to tell us? These dad jokes are so bad, but in the absolute best way.
Whether you’re looking for material for an open mic night at a comedy club or entertaining your friends with this arsenal of witty one-liners, we’ve got the giggles — and guaranteed eye rolls — you’re looking for.
The best part is that all these jokes are clean and apart from some dark humor jokes, completely safe for your family or colleagues.
So, sit back and relax. All you need to do to prepare for this collection of silly gags is clear the aisles, as you and your crew are about to walk through them.
Funny Dad Jokes

Two fish in one tank. One turns to the other and says, “Any idea how to run this thing?”
Do you have five fingers? my feet
I don’t often tell dad jokes. He typically chuckles, though, when I do.
What is the best way to get to the hospital after breaking your leg? with a tow truck.
Why does a chicken coop have only two doors? Because if it has four it will be a sedan.
What did the pirate say on his birthday? “Yes, mate!”
I was going to tell a sodium joke, then I thought, “No.”
What is a witch’s favorite subject at school? the spell
Why are frogs good at baseball? They know how to catch fly balls.
What is the easiest building to lift? a lighthouse
dad jokes 1

Why do sweaters tend to hang out together? They are quite close.
Why did the zombie sleep? He died of exhaustion.
Have you heard about the fired archaeologist? Now his career is in ruins.
What did the buffalo say to the boy on the first day of school? “Bison.”
Why do ducks have feathers in the story? To hide their butt-cack.
The funniest dad jokes

Why don’t you tell secrets in the cornfield? There are many ears around.
What kind of underpants do lawyers wear? In short.
What do you call a cow’s mouth? a moo-stache.
Have you ever heard of two robots fighting? It was a war treaty.
Have you heard of cleaners who went into space? They end up scrubbing the mission.
Dad jokes
What did the beach say when the tide came in? There is no sea for a long time.
Why does Turkey play percussion? They have drumsticks.
For breakfast I do not eat only two things: lunch and dinner.
I adopted a dog from a blacksmith. As soon as I brought him home, he made a bolt for the door.
Dad jokes 2

How much does it cost to swim with sharks? One arm and one leg.
What did one toilet say to another? You look a little flushed.
Why are most people tired on April 1? They finished only 31 days of March.
How do you dance a tissue? Place a small Boogie in the middle.
Why did the rabbit go to the salon? It was a Bad Rabbit Day.
Dad jokes 3

Where do the birds stay when they travel? Chip somewhere.
I have fun saying bad puns. That’s how the eyes meet.
What to do if your puppy doesn’t feel well? Take him to the dog-Tor.
Why can’t Leopards play hide and seek? Because they are always seen.
What kind of felines can ball? Street cat
Why did the man bring his watch to the bank? He wanted to save time.
Where do Penguins go to vote? North Pole.
Dad jokes 4

How do you make a robot Angry? Keep pushing his buttons.
What is the best way to build a bandstand? Take away their chairs.
How do you light a sports stadium? With a football match.
Have you heard of school abductions? They woke him up.
I once told a bad chemistry joke. There was no response.
Dad jokes 5

Why did the cow go to Hollywood? Stay in the moment.
Have you heard of the cat that ate a lemon? Now that’s a sour puss.
How do rats floss their teeth? With string cheese.
What do you call a happy cowboy? A happy herder
What did one wall say to the other? I’ll meet you in the corner.
Dad jokes 6

What do clouds wear under their pants? Thunderwire.
What kind of bagels can travel? A plain bagel.
When is the best time to call your dentist? Dental caries
What is the best way to fish? Ask someone to throw it at you.
What is an eight-legged cat? An octo-pus.
Dad jokes 7

What do you call an anxious fly? A jitterbug
Potato chips told each other? Go take a dive on it.
Why don’t you tell duck jokes? Because they will be dizzy.
How was the piano locked out of his car? It lost its key.
Why is the orchestra hit by lightning? It had a conductor.
What do you call a fake dad? A wrong pass.
How to make Egg Roll? You push it.
I’ve never been a fan of facial hair. But now it’s starting to grow on me.
Dad jokes
Did you hear there was a fire at the shoe factory? Unfortunately, many souls have been lost.
What do you call a pig that knows how to use a butcher knife? Chop a pork.
What kind of fish know how to do appendectomy? A sturgeon.
How do you rent a horse? Put up a ladder.
Why did pony ask for a glass of water? Because it was a small horse.
Is there anything worse than rain on cats and dogs? Yes, hailing taxi.
Bad dad jokes
Dad jokes 8

How many apples can you grow on one tree? All of them.
My manager has given me a good day. So it didnt work.
Do children play when they have nothing else to do? Boring game
What do you say to your fingers? I’m counting on you.
What kind of music do elves listen to? Music is wrapped.
Why aren’t lobsters generous? Because they are shellfish.
Where do sheep go on vacation? Baa-Hamas.
I just flew in from California. My hands are tired.
Where did people chat in medieval times? In the night club.
Why do employees go to work on stilts? He wanted a raise.
What do cake and baseball have in common? They both need batters.
When does the Friday before Thursday come? In dictionaries
What did the tree say when spring finally came? What’s the page?
How can you tell if a pig is hot? It’s bacon.
Dad jokes
Have you heard of a man who is afraid of obstacles? He overcame it.
Why did the drum go to bed? It was beat.
Who’s the wild cow? Shake the beef.
Have you heard of the man who drank invisible ink? She is in the hospital waiting to see him.
How do you get a squirrel’s attention? Act like a nut.
What did one volcano say to another? I love you
Why does the computer catch cold? It left a window open.
How do you cook an alligator? With a Crock-Pot.
What did the earthquake say? Sorry, it’s my fault!
Dad jokes 9

Why did the computer go to bed? It needs to be upset.
What would you give the Best Dentist of the year? A small plaque
What causes dry skin? A towel
I went to buy a pair of camouflage pants, but could not find any.
How can you tell when a comic gas pass? Some funny smells.
What kind of bugs can tell the time? Clock
Why shouldn’t you trust trees? They seem shady.